rambling

well friends and family I am just in the mood to ramble.. all has been pretty good here. the kids are healthy and sassy.. Courtney is doing well with her driving and only 19 days until she takes her test.. oh my gosh I can't believe my baby girl is going to allowed to leagally be on the road.. what the heck is Pa thinking..lol Christopher is being your typical boy and hanging with his buddies most of the time. thank goodness he does not have a girlfriend yet...I'm not ready for that.

thanksgiving was really nice. My brother Jim and sister-in-law Tammy and my 2 nieces Katie and Sarah came up and they broght my dad.. It's so nice to be able to visit with family that you like to be around.. the Bear didn't stay long because he was making the trip to Conn. I still get a little upset with that, but it's not my life. It's a real shame that a death in the family is what brings it back together, unfortunately it was my mom who had to suffer and not reap the rewards of the family talking again.

I really must make an effort to compliment my sister-in-law on how well she handles her daughters temper tantrums. She has more patients than I did, I was always the sarcastic one and raising my voice, were she stays calm and gets them to tell her what the problem is.

I have been really bumbed this last couple of weeks, there is so much that I want to tell my mom and to ask her what to do about a couple of issues and she is just not there to answer. I know that she hears me, but I just can't hear her and I feel sad that I don't dream about her anymore. I know that I am not forgetting her because she is always on mind and I am always talking to her. So times I wonder if it will ever get easier thinking about her. they say time helps but it's been over 2 years and I still just cry at night for wanting her to hug me and talk to me.. I love my dad very much but it's just not the same. I know that parents are suppose to die before thier kids but not at such a young age or from such a crappy disease. I hate that life is not fair and that I have had to teach my kids that also. I only hope that as mom looks down on me that she pround that of how Courtney and Christopher are turning into amazing young adults.
well enough weepy rambles
god bless you all for putting up with me.
love to family and friends